And the Next Day

The news just got worse!  I went down to St Richards for my ultrasound and, later in the day, had a long conversation with the Macmillan Nurse there.  My jaundice has increased tenfold in a a week, which is something no-one would have predicted.  It means I can’t start chemo – it’s too dangerous, and I would have zero quality of life.  On Wednesday, I have to go in for fitting of a stent in the liver.  That should allow bile to drain from the liver and, with any luck, I should see an improvement in a number of areas.  However, here is the catch.  My jaundice is now so severe that they are not at all confident about getting it down low enough to start chemo at all.  If that’s the case, I am looking at palliative care only. 
I am quite relaxed about it in a funny sort of way.  My only remaining concern is that I can get Jackie settled before I have to go into care myself!  I know that with our local Macmillan Service, I will be in the best possible hands – and they are a fabulous bunch of people.
On Monday, I am off for another blood test and then the endoscopy on Wednesday for insertion of the stent.
Work is unfortunately out of the question at  the moment as I just can't concentrate for long enough to do anything worthwhile.
My plan now is to do what I need to do over the next few days and then see what the impact of that is.  When I started this blog, I said I was going to try to keep it light.  Little did I know how many consecutive buckets of shit were up there with my name on them   I haven't lost any of my resolve but it is hard to be optimistic when the mountain you are trying to climb gets higher each day.
Next update once I see how Wednesday goes.